The Average Guy's Guide to Looking Good at the Gym

Maybe you're not going to be crowned Mr. Universe anytime soon. But you can still look good in the attempt. All you need is to understand ten simple rules:

Work with what you've got

Whether you want to sculpt, need to shed a few or are looking to bulk up, always wear clothes that suit your physique. Muscle shirts don't work for guys who weigh 150 pounds. Tank tops don't work for guys with hairy shoulders. Tight shorts and headbands don't work for anybody.

Don't bite off more than you can chew

Stacking three 45-pound plates on either side of the barbell just because there's a cute girl at the next machine is not advisable, particularly if you've never lifted anything heavier than a foot-long sub. This kind of move will more likely lead to embarrassment than to a date — not to mention the potential for ruptured body parts.

Memorize this phrase: "It's all you!"

Spotting roles are special because they allow you to become someone's best friend for thirty seconds and then never speak to them again. The proper way to spot is to settle behind the person without looking like you care, then, at the moment they start to struggle, transform into Tony Robbins on speed, yelling, "Come on, it's all you! Let's go! Push! You got one more in you! Come on DRIVE IT DRIVE IT DRIVE IT!!!" You are then required to slam the barbell down on its pegs and walk away.

That machine isn't for your wrists — it's the water fountain

Before you tackle a new machine, ask someone how to use it properly. This will help you avoid three common pitfalls. First, you won't end up squandering the machine's potential benefits. Second, you won't waste time standing there trying to figure out how to use it (while pretending you're just deciding whether or not to use it). Third, people won't chuckle at you for sitting backwards in the triceps machine trying to figure out how to work your abs.

Don't hit on everything that moves

Gyms are for working out; clubs are for picking up. There is nothing wrong with a bit of friendly conversation, but using the gym as your personal flirting arena is unfair to those just trying to get in a workout. If you're attracted to someone, don't lead with, "You look tastier than the PowerBar I just had." Approach discreetly, without making a show of it. The quiet approach is especially beneficial if her boyfriend happens to be the guy pressing three times your body weight two machines over.

Don't try to buddy up to the musclemen

The true Ferrignos of the gym — you know them by their spandex shorts, Walkmans and torn sweatshirts — enjoy their private fraternity, and have little interest in talking carb-loading with a guy who looks like Tobey Maguire. So, unless you're a Creatine salesman, do your own thing and let them do theirs.

Don't try to stand out

Seriously, don't. Sprinting on the treadmill, grunting violently through your flyes, or finishing a set with a delirious, "Oh, YEAH!" won't win you any admirers. Feeling the adrenaline is one thing; showing off unnaturally is another. Not to mention that people are generally put off by someone yelling in their face for no reason.

Think long-term

You know the scenario: You ask a guy twice your size if you can work in. As you sit, you see he's got the pin at twice the weight you'd normally push, but the Brooke Burke lookalike on the StairMaster is checking you out, so you keep the pin where it is. You summon every ounce of strength, take a deep breath, imagine yourself with her on a private beach in Waikiki...and don't move the stack an inch. Maintaining a long-term approach at the gym isn't always easy, but it works. Wait a few months and your pin will drop. Anyway, she's probably turned off by the that guy with the huge delts.

Practice form over substance

Rather than piling on the weights and trying to power your way through the exercise like a mad contortionist, use proper form. Breathe out on the exertion phase, don't bounce through the movement and go slowly on the way down. Let people be impressed by your solid technique instead of how loudly you can yell while trapped under a barbell. Proper form applies to everything you do in the gym, from the stationary bike to the Nautilus machines to not checking out the other guys in the shower.

And step, and two, and...

Just as women often make the mistake of ignoring weights, men often make the mistake of ignoring cardio and flexibility traning. If you want to tone as well as build mass, take some aerobics classes, Pilates or yoga to complement your hours of pumping iron. And don't worry, it's not going to make you want to suddenly go home and try on your girlfriend's underwear.

BONUS TIP

With the right combination of weights, aerobic exercise and proper diet, anyone can shape a great body. Your main goal at the gym should be to feel good about yourself. Everything else is secondary.

Exercise for Men Only 

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I.J. Schecter
43 Park Hill Road
Toronto, ON M6C 3N2
(416) 803-9847

© I.J. Schecter 2003